Perhaps some of you followed my brief exploration of FaceBook Live… all I can say is thank you, and I’m sorry….

In honor of national humor month, and as a way to get the word out about my new business, I had the great idea to Go Live from Facebook EVERY DAY, streaming 15 seconds of laughter during the month of April. “It’s Brilliant!” I thought. “Laughing everyday! I’m going to feel so good, and bring the community together so by May 1, everyone will know @thelaughterlady, and want to visit theCAREport! This is gonna be great!!”

Well, I saw myself in those videos, the way nerves and ambition are expressed when my heart is open and my energy is running high… Aaaand it was uncomfortable…. Things always seem so much different when they’re happening inside my head.

The Truth I discovered is that, for me, the therapeutic part of laughter does not lie in the performance, but the connection and the energy that’s shared between humor-beings. I was surprised and overwhelmed by the process of going out and doing it those little videos required and generated—far deeper than an unscripted 15 seconds could capture. My #HumorAcademy training taught me that embarrassing moments are supposed to be funny, that we carry humor deeeeeeep in within ourselves. That happens to be where I hold other difficult emotions that need therapeutic interventions, that don’t necessarily need to Live Facebook Coverage, as I work it out.

Putting that much energy into that “virtual” world, I found, changed my focus and presence in this one, and I had a hard time coming back. Although positive feedback always feels good, and reaching people with the message of play silliness and laughter is part of the therapy, it is not a natural medium for me. At the end of the day, this was an important project, both in its inception and its ultimate demise. Some really exciting ideas came up which with some advanced planning and community connections, have the potential to grow in a more organic fashion. I know that the power of therapeutic laughter lies not within the Laughter Leader herself, but in the way we connect in the true spirit of healing connections…not just making videos because everyone is making videos.